you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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