I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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