I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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