There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize