dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
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