are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
