Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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