I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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