I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
