Do you still have your period?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
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