69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
