wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
