What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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