No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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