dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
