guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Success! We fucked roommates!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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