White coat. Heels.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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