I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
