Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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