chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
it's great music for shaving your balls
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
