theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
