All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
did i just pee glitter
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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