Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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