sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize