you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
