I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
its liver damage thursday
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
