I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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