so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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