He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
