My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
