Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
