i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
