Texts From Last Night

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  (706): View more from Georgia

  oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.

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  (706): oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out. http://tfl.nu/6a0y
  Replies (5) Good night (918) Bad night (2938)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.

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  (817): She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that. http://tfl.nu/vcnu
  Replies (11) Good night (1087) Bad night (3503)
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  (818): View more from California

  Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.

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  (818): Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you. http://tfl.nu/btkl
  Replies (11) Good night (6919) Bad night (1304)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.

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  (972): My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B. http://tfl.nu/k9ee
  Replies (10) Good night (1166) Bad night (3601)
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  (949): View more from California

  Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?

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  (949): Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it? http://tfl.nu/e2vj
  Replies (12) Good night (1456) Bad night (4349)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I hate when that happens

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  (717): Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again (443): I hate when that happens http://tfl.nu/8tar
  Replies (2) Good night (1666) Bad night (1204)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick

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  (204): she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick http://tfl.nu/7rr6
  Replies (5) Good night (1084) Bad night (2248)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in

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  (414): got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in http://tfl.nu/o0j8
  Replies (5) Good night (1863) Bad night (745)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?

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  (785): She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no? http://tfl.nu/2hle
  Replies (4) Good night (2658) Bad night (698)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.

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  (615): You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it. http://tfl.nu/hvow
  Replies (4) Good night (1790) Bad night (680)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is

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  (305): Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is http://tfl.nu/r7rb
  Replies (5) Good night (1382) Bad night (625)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.

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  (757): Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today. http://tfl.nu/c0a7
  Replies (7) Good night (738) Bad night (1731)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.

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  (831): I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger. http://tfl.nu/whys
  Replies (7) Good night (1264) Bad night (699)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.

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  (610): spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN. http://tfl.nu/4bnj
  Replies (12) Good night (1159) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.

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  (402): Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive. http://tfl.nu/7nfi
  Replies (7) Good night (798) Bad night (279)

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