The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
What is this nonsense on the table
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?