Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.

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  (248): I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard. http://tfl.nu/wcz2
  Replies (2) Good night (1276) Bad night (435)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.

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  (817): Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3. http://tfl.nu/dq7j
  Replies (40) Good night (608) Bad night (5297)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass

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  (720): so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass http://tfl.nu/kbrv
  Replies (21) Good night (1277) Bad night (8149)
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  (916): View more from California

  I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.

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  (916): I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was. http://tfl.nu/vzii
  Replies (9) Good night (1054) Bad night (2193)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.

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  (803): Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now. http://tfl.nu/1qen
  Replies (9) Good night (2637) Bad night (664)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.

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  (406): It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut. http://tfl.nu/m0ui
  Replies (14) Good night (2004) Bad night (661)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.

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  (859): She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding. http://tfl.nu/udu2
  Replies (3) Good night (833) Bad night (1851)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags

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  (610): I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags http://tfl.nu/4wxr
  Replies (6) Good night (961) Bad night (1657)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.

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  (815): I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room. http://tfl.nu/691w
  Replies (5) Good night (1294) Bad night (809)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?

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  (403): You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something? http://tfl.nu/hj44
  Replies (17) Good night (4572) Bad night (1170)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.

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  (815): I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes. http://tfl.nu/pp2q
  Replies (6) Good night (1730) Bad night (1078)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.

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  (402): He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is. (1-402): Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors. http://tfl.nu/lcrs
  Replies (6) Good night (1640) Bad night (441)
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  (714): View more from California

  todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.

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  (714): todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera. http://tfl.nu/lq8k
  Replies (3) Good night (970) Bad night (344)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me

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  (425): i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me http://tfl.nu/5vfc
  Replies (5) Good night (1010) Bad night (447)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.

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  (586): She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late. http://tfl.nu/tfi4
  Replies (5) Good night (182) Bad night (274)

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