I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
