She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.