the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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