so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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