she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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