How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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