he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
