Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize