I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
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Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
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I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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