I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
