i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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