I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
time to smoke my breakfast
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
