I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize