Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize