Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
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She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
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Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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