life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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