OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
