i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
