I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
