I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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