I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
