don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
