Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
