Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
