The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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