She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
