one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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