why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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