Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
