Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
