When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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