It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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