I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
