The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
